When my son was just days and weeks old, I came with the conclusion about my own parenting style-very attached one…The attachment parenting has helped me to shape a boy that I could leave with a family member, or a sitter for a wile without ANY drama or cry while leaving! Why? Because my son was so secure that he did not have the fear of being ”abandoned”
Couple years ago I have learned that the way I parent has actually a label I did not know about. The style is called ”The Attachment Parenting” and I did that instinctually. The best way to describe it, is that you are fulfilling all of your baby’s needs immediately, you NEVER EVER let them ”cry out” and you are always truthful to them.You will never lie. The main principal is to give them such security in an early life that they grow to be very confident and secure individuals.
Here are some of the principles of the ”ATTACHMENT PARENTING”
• The first year after my son was born he has spend literally on my heart and in my arms. I Have carried him everywhere, he came with me to ALL the meetings and restaurants, and if he was crying bad, we just left the place, no big deal 😉
• As the ”Co sleeping” is encouraged in the ”Attachment parenting” style, I do not suggest you doing it, You can have the crib right next to your bed, and have less risks from the possible accidents from co sleeping with the baby or toddler. My husband as a trauma surgeon, has seen so much dramatic accidents involving parents co-sleeping with their babies… I suggest to opt out. However, I have never let my son to cry it out. I think it is the most cruel think to do for the baby. They feel abandoned, they can have trauma, because they have no concept of anything, and they think you might never be back… Besides, everyone will get better rest in their own bed! If you keep the crib in your bedroom the baby senses your presence. If the baby has hard time learning to sleep in their own bed you can start from holding your hands in their bed, than maybe just seat next to them, and after every day take some new distance. This technic is very time consuming, but I promise, it is worth it!
• I have never Lied to my son about leaving the house. Many parents sneak, Crowl to the door and are literally ”escaping” just to avoid their baby/toddler getting upset and cry because they need to leave them with a sitter or other family member. I never did that. I have always lower myself to the level of my little boy, looked him in the eyes and was telling him the true- Mommy needs to leave now, but I will be back soon. And in front on his eyes I would walked to the door. He would cry the first time, but after that, he knew what is going to happen next, he was confident, because he knew the true. I could leave him for few hours in a ski school or with a sitter from time to time and he was happy and fear free. Lying to your child about leaving him or sneaking out actually provokes more fear and less confidence. It might be hard to begin, but it pays off later.
- By bringing my son everywhere with me, I have made him feel as a part of a ”pack” ,and by doing that he automatically behaved better because he felt included in whatever we were doing. Here are some pictures of my son attending the biggest, international conferences all around the world.
on the picture above with his father Dr.Warren Breidenbach III and Dr. VJ Gorantla Spain 2018 International Transplant Meeting
On the picture above 2016 Chicago Hand Transplant Association
In the conclusion, the attachment parenting that is ”hands on” and ”eyes on”, giving a lot of attention and a positive encouragement, nursing your child in every possible moment, will help to shape a child to a great secure person. So if you want to change the world for better, start with your own child.
Love, light and pace